Monday, January 31, 2005
todae ah....cant remember sia....todae alot of tik happ la....well...todae in sch so funi....omoz whole dae not in out class sia...haha....1st tim sia....btw....aft tt got remedial.....was tokin n tokin aloud to cher....den tt Yq msg mi n sae "SUDDUP".....zzz....bwg.....my 1st tot was...is tt tot frm tt bloody bitch or Yq...aiya....haizz....btw....aft tt she nv reply....nb so angry wif it....oh ya....it was quite funi....at tt time....i was tikin abt y Yq nv reply my msgs liaozz.....den suddenly my fone vibrated....i tot it was Cass....but turned out to b Yq.....but the msg is so negative....zzz....
den Cass go find Ak....return tiks.....hmmm...seems lik Cass fang de xia le.....but i still feel sm injustice for Cass.....haizz......aiya.....den alot of pp waited for dem....Wc, Kl, Fiz, Fika n mi..... luckily got smtik to do....playin ard wif the soccer ball....or else i nth to do.....n i saw Kim along wif Jowene confront Wc....i was lik.....bwg?...coz i did lik her b4.....well....i was lik suddenly got sm feelings for her....well....i dun mind if Wc wans to b wif Jowene...well....anyway i noe Jowene doesnt lik mi.... haha?....aiya....if she does lik mi den c 1st ba.....duwan so much hopes...lolz.....
well.....todae tok to Ying Wei[loshi, Cheesy (wadeva)] n Ace....lolz...topic veri HOT!...lolz.....bwg.... aiya....now i solved Ace's probz le....lolz....i nv knew Ace tis kind of person sia!....lolz....aiya.....bois r owaz bois de....haha....btw....todae i abit hunger for gals sia....zzz....well... bocz of tt msg incident....zzz.....
now...i will confirm my feelings....my 1st pirority in my heart will owaz b for Yq....If i had change....well.....i will sae again.....to sae in another way....if i can choose btw old n new.... its lik 70% will b the old....ofcoz muz c ALOT of factors de ma......well......not evtik is wad pp expect.... gotta c the situation anyway....
accumulation of messss ; *
11:55:00 PM
Sunday, January 30, 2005
zzz....todae damn confused.....i mean rite now....lets tok abt todae mornin 1st la.....ytd i slpt veri late...2 lidad....wach Man u thrashin Boro....waaa...c until slp sia....too tired....wen i wake up orady 3-0....lame sia....as gd as dun c.....anyway.....todae i veri frustrated abt todae's sunday soccer.... tt 2pid Eugene keep on commandin mi lor....tell mi play as defender....nb.....so bu shuang.....its not tt we lack defenders lor.....nb.....n todae my leg pain....n sm1 kick mi at my "arhamz" there....zzzz.... play quite bad in all.....but Fiz todae play so well sia....i bwg.....so many compliments gained sia.....lolz....aiya.....now come to the frustrated part.....
juz now Yq msg mi....in 1st tot....is tt msg meant 4 mi?....so i replied lor....it was 4 mi de....aiya.... but i veri confuse lor even tho tt msg was 4 mi.....im not prepared to receive msg frm her....simply bcoz she had nv msg mi since 23Jan....but tt msg was to ask mi to bring her stuffs....zzz....oso nv ask mi wad i doin all tt.....so its exactly 1week since she msg mi....btw.....juz now go her hse there put her stuff on the floor.......den zhao....will she appreciate it?...well....i duno...anyway tt tik rite....veri veri veri veri veri veri meaningful....haizz....giv back le.....hope she noe y i giv back tt.... i sae here ba....i hope she will rem tt tik n wen we bot 2gther...... tho its smtik so unvaluable....yet carries valuable tiks to remember....now nv reply mi liaozz....zzz.....i bwg.....haizz....im confused now.....she told mi she now workin.....sort of veri uneasy....reli wan to send her hm.....so late liaoz ma....luckily got her sis n mum all tt....or else i bwg.....or mayb i will tik of rushin there n wait 4 her....if i do tt....will she appreciate it anyway tho?....haizz......
accumulation of messss ; *
10:40:00 PM
Saturday, January 29, 2005
zzz...todae CIP dae....ytd 1+ slp sia....nd to go sch 7:30am for SS remedial....zzzz?....i noe got tis 5-dae wk....but wad to do?....lolz....den aft tt i wanted to go back.....bring deododant...zzz...tis Liana n Fika n esp Fiz tell mi not to.....so i nv go back.....tis Fiz even sae...im the onli boi lor...den i folo dem eat yet he still complain....lolz...aft tt go foyer meet....zzz....nb i stress sia.....tt Jowene sit juz besid mi....well....sort of strangers now....haha?....aiya....i oso nth to tok to her.....otw to pok hse there sth happ...reli made mi angry sia!...dun intend to sae out...den we onli go 1rd of collection nia....den we started restin....my grp.....haha....funi sia.....so slack horz....nb....todae c tt bloody "A"... knn so hot sia....i tot ova liaoz....w/o her....my life is much smoother lorzz...b4 we go....i saw Yq lookin at us otw to the bus stop....sort of look back?...i hope she still hav not 4gt me....haizz...will there b a chance 4 mi?....aiya.....aft CIP we intended to go lot 1 along wif Fika they all.....but w8 so long for Fir n Iz....so i go find Kl they all 1st.....nb....lucky or unlucky....Jowene was ard there too....bball court....zzz....aiya.....play lik noob liddad.....coz wen got gals ard i owaz play damn noob de....whether issit bball or anyth!....even soccer.....zzz....i oso duno y....haizz....aft tt i go wif fiz they all....duwan pang seh they all....lolz.... aft tt i go find Kl they all again....den go back lot1 again....lame sia.....den i felt hungry n go Long John eat...den folo Kl hm....aft tt we all go play bball at the same place.....lucky or wad....Jowene not there liaozz.....waa....still play abit lik noob.....tis tim my leg damn pain!....coz ytd go gym n train until injured.....well....my consistancy came back onli aft i tag team wif Zj wif a team.....wa....reli njoyed it.....aft tt we play 4v4.... KL, Zj n two others....1 of dem ccks sch team sia....nb....left mi, Hj , Ys n CH!!...omg....lidad cant play lorzz....we tot we will lose....nb....but we win!...lolz....at 1st trash dem sia....6-0 sia....den aft tt 6-3..the rest i duno liaoz...omoz caught up...but the range still quite far....aiya....den aft tt we play wif the adults....aiya....they nth much de lorz....i actually got confidence de lor!...but lose.... coz we veri disorganise!....they veri organise....tts the diff....aiya....den i told Kl to play insid but he go up...lame lor....i muz try to get rebound rite....i muz not juz stand outsid n let the other team pp tak the ball rite....zzzz...
accumulation of messss ; *
9:15:00 PM
Friday, January 28, 2005
waa........juz play finish Cs.....played wif Han, Loshi, Fiz , Zj...haha....b4 i play Cs...Loshi toked to mi....haha.....he sounded so matured for a Sec2 boi.....lolz....hmmm....juz now saw Cass's blog....i reli bwg....totally lik my situation....but the causes r ofcoz diff.....well....i reli pity Cass....she n mi....well....sort of no hope.....haizz....sort of in the same boat now.....reli utd tt kind of feelin she is in now.....haizz....shd i even go tell Yq im still sort of waitin 4 her?....but ofcoz the chance is less den 1%.....haha?....tts the fact anyway....y?....solely becoz of her surrounding now....well....Loshi even oso tik tt "A" is a *****.....haha?....at least there is at least 3 pp tiks she IS!...tts a good sign....im not alone....n i noe tt wad my ideas r correct....n im not TOTALLY rong....lik wad pp sae!.....b4 tt.....pp owaz tell mi im rong....not now....i noe tt im not rong anymr.....sort of hapier?.... btw....1st tok abt my life to Loshi....lolz....haizz....oh ya!...todae i saw tt "A" pencil case....tmd angry!....same wif Yq....ccb....i bwg!....haizz....gona slp soon sia....too tired....coz juz now play soccer n tmr md to wake up early to have remedial....haizz.....life is so unpredictable!
accumulation of messss ; *
11:47:00 PM
zzz....juz now go gym....body achin sia....well.....todae in sch damn angry sia!....tmr is CIP dae....den Mrs Choo random pick teams....den i was wif "A"...tmd....orady bu shuang den tt Fiz come kajiao mi....zzz....aft tt i tried to show tt im not angry by keepin myself crazy....haha?.... but seriously i reli duwan to c such pp in my life anymr.....they r so disgustin!....rather keep their frenship den helpin others.....such selfish pp shdn b in tis world!....i reli regret myself to b selfless at tt time!....F***!.....seriously im still reli angry rite now.....c her i reli wan to whack....but i cant do tt....zzz....how can she get OUT of my life!....n ofcoz i wan tis kind of pp OUT of Yq's life....she had done enuff SHIT! in OUR life b4.....F*** MAN!....nb.....reli angry now!....haizz.....life will nv b the same wif tt ***** in my life.....tmd.....anyway lata moz prob go soccer wif Kl....but got tt nizal....he dun lik mi lorz....well....bcoz of tis i oso dun reli lik him.....but i will try not to do tt.....rather hav a fren den an enemy....how ironic eh?....i juz noe tt "A" is of total diff case!...
accumulation of messss ; *
6:59:00 PM
Thursday, January 27, 2005
zzz.....haizz...ytd nite nv slpt enuff....tokin to cass....seems she reli hav the same probz wif mi sia....anyway....todae Thur....got PE sia.....zzz.....Sports dae comin VERI soon....i got 1 full mth to train hard....i muz motivate myself to go train evdae....lolz....todae our clas split to 4 diff catergories....errr....Sprinting, Shot Put, Javelin n LONG JUMP!...my fav....well...hope tis yr get smtik sia....last yr so pai sei sia....get nth n Kl get 3rd....reli bwg sia....i tik tis yr sure continue got gd competitors de.....well...durin our PE i go the long jump wan la....haha....den Sj n Candy(i tik) oso wan take long jump....zzz....den all folo there....zzz.....lucky dun hav tt *****.....if not i zhao! nb....reli feel like whackin sia!....zzz...DUN CARE HER LA....next....aft recess....well.....ate bao bao....lolz....den i dreamin in class during the interval....Cher haven come ma.....nb...i dun even noe Yq behind mi sia!....i tot she will go sit wif tt "A"....zzzz....shocked mi sia....i omoz sweat sia!....i felt my whole body hot.....well...i nervous owaz lidad de.....nb....cant take tt nervousness den zhao to Kl's place n sit wif Sally....zzz....well.....aft sch i go detention!....i tot it will b hell but turn out fine!.....it was HEAVEN!....lolz!!!....omg....i cant take it!...i wan more detention!...lolz.... in there lik we rulez!...lolz....bring food n drinks insid!....the prefects cant do anyth!....n Kl even come in to act act!...lolz....i bth sia......den i disturb Jenna.....zzz....take my money ma!....lolz.... aft sch i tok to Ms Chow!...lolz....hmmm....told mi alot of tiks....n i noe mr abt her life....quite hapi.... well....she was hapi 4 mi to b frank.....i told her "i am still VERI sad insid but i am crazy n hapi outsid!"....well....she told mi y she was hapi 4 mi....coz im frank n i shd at least b tis way.... wen she told mi tis....i was reli hapi....i duno y tho....den outsid sch she damn funi!....omg.... made fun of Fiz even!....aft tt i folo Fiz n Fika to lot1 walk walk....well....hope not extra.... hmmm....n played Cs juz now n oso do hwk!....im a gd boi...*bleah* lolz....btw.....todae oso reli shocked Yq come tok to mi....i tot she nv even wan to open tt golden mouth wif lotsa jewels insid..... btw again.....Fiz tiks tt Yq got c my blog....i dun tik so lorzz....she wont do tt kind of stuff....im certain.....hmm....now listenin to Jian Dan Ai......wad i nd is reli juz a simple love....isnt it?.... the lyrics reli reli describes wad i wan in a relationship.....well.....it will nv b lidad again wif Yq.... certainly bcoz of sm *dotz*....cant sae out...in 1 of the section of my blog got sae anyway.... hahaz.....
accumulation of messss ; *
11:27:00 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
zzz?....i bloggin again.....well.....juz play finish Cs.....well...reli not fun 4 mi......i totally moodless.....i was totally off-form.....noob as u can sae.....haha?....haizzz.....i suddenly felt tt i wan to c her..... haizzz....anyway....todae saw my Dream gal.....sort of hapi....reluctant to get out.......lolz....haha?.... its juz a mmt of happiness....well.....perhaps i got to b realistic huh?...well.....todae go sch felt envious of Yj sia....at least he get to tok n c sm1 he likes evdae rite....mi lei.......haizz.....well.....Fiz juz tell mi tt Yj get ova it liaozz.....hmmm....hav i got ova it?....is there a diff btw still lovin or haven get ova it?....
accumulation of messss ; *
11:33:00 PM
todae is a slpy dae 4 mi......whole dae slpy sia....well....todae Yq nv go sch....well......tried not to b sad or wadeva....i intended to go find her...but nv.....well.....sudden thoughts tt i shdn?....perhaps tts my reason....i duno either....well.....todae i bot a lighter 4 my dad....its damn LONG!....a matchstick!....lolz.....haha.....den i bot a pencil box....sort of wantin to change coz my previous pencil case got alot of links.....well....1st is a leftova pencil case given by Yq....well.....at least go a meanin to it.....wad motivated mi to change was tt bloody "A" got the same design....so it reli motivated mi....hmmm....aft buyin all tt.....i was damn tired.....my eyes half open....lolz....well....i duno.....i suddenly got the urge to express my feelings....but seemed so hard.....haizzz.....i hate rejection anyway.....i now go play Cs le...todae will b playin wif Izwan!....long tim nv tok to him le...*smiles*
accumulation of messss ; *
9:48:00 PM
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
juz play finish Cs...n oso eng hwk....wa....todae suay lik fook sia....todae kanna caught by Ms.Kalai , Narain....zzz....my hair too BROWN!...lolz....so i go buy temp black color spray...lolz....4 wad dye back sia....my hair color so nice sia....haha....hmmm....todae i tik alot to sae...1st....ytd nite nv slp gd sia.....my mind was switched on the whole nite lor....it was lik slpin onli 5min!....zzz....my mind was tikin abt....well......smtiks....anyway....nv get to c my Dream gal....n i miz the fookin 985!....nb....how many time liaoz!....i took 187....haha.....i walked tooooo slow...so nv met her anyway.....tts a gd sign....haha....well....todae tt Yq come ova n put a note on the table.....well....ask mi return tiks....nb....so demandin....lik owe her money lidad....tho all those r her tiks.....but....i told her if eva break i wont giv back de....she sae ok de.....not my business....but....i will n wan to consider it if she eva open her gold mouth n tok to mi.....well....its impossible....so its impossible 4 mi to giv back.....perhaps finally i noe the meaning of being a man?...how abt gentleman?....another case to tik of.....well....todae my Bro bdae....zzzz....my Cousin come lorzz.....den?...lidad lor.....haizzz....i dun feel much anyway....muz pia hwk tt time...zzz.....im slpy sia now....haizz....i bet Yq will nv come n tok to mi.....wad u all tik?...
accumulation of messss ; *
11:54:00 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005
hmm....todae ah....not a veri gd dae 4 mi?...n todae tot mi sth...well....woke up late....so missed the 985...gotta take 187 to sch....nvm.....i tot i was earlier n faster to get to sch n will b juz b4 Yq come out of her hse...but i found tt she was infront of mi....well....walked slower....wad to do den....well.....den i saw Hadi told Yq tt i was behind her....haha?...ironic....y cant i go find her?....well....i duno....aft tt....aft recess.... we n to go IT rm 4 e.math.....n i was at the door.....but tt Yq walked in....n mumbled sth....which i HATED to hear....."shit"....in the 1st place.....is she treatin me as fren??...i reli wondered....well.... now...we look lik strangers...well....i c how Yj n Rene r copin wif their frenship....reli makin mi envious...haizz...who to blame anyway?....i noe the ans....if tis goes on....the ans will b obvious for to pp to noe....unless those pp r close to Yq....well....i guess no1 will eva find tt ans anyway....n....Yq wanted mi to giv bac smtiks todae.... yet she duwan to confront mi.....well....reli didn expected tis...i tot she would ask mi....well....dun care anymr abt givin back....well....i would lov to keep it....haha?...anyway....i c her recently keepin on msgin whether in class or wad....seriously...im scared......haizzz....anyway....todae Radi asked mi smtiks....well.....she reli opened up me thru her probz.....guess i will not sae it out....n todae i folo Fika n Fiz....go back....sort of xtra xtra feelin....haha?...did keep my dist btw dem....i guess tis will b the last tim im doin tis....i dun lik bein xtra....its juz mi.....n seriously spreakin...i oso dun lik to hav pp ard mi while im wif m gf....but....now....i dun tik i shd behave tis way..... quite complicated horzz....haha....well...juz b mi will do...haha....well....aft come back n do same tiks.....well...im sort of njoyin my life now....but feelin RELI RELI bored at the same tim.....but... tiks goes on...haha?....btw....i wan to c my Dream gal....haha?....hav not c her 4 veri long tim liaozz....well....how ironic can life b anyway?...
accumulation of messss ; *
11:56:00 PM
Sunday, January 23, 2005
zzz....todae go Bishan as usual....todae Kl nv go.....duno y.....but Fiz go....funi sia....lolz.....well.....im still buildin castles in the air.....duno wad im tikin while playin.....zzzz.....i oso duno whether i did njoy even.....quite meaningless in another words.....but....i scored a goal....not bad eh.....n another 1 was disallowed.....zzzz.....n....i seriously feel tt my sinus is back.....while playin i couldn perform well as my flu is bugging mi....fook man....n oso fiz scored a goal!....hahaa...compared to mine....i tik his goal is better den mine....perhaps.....the ball went past mi n another defender.....n was a omoz unstoppable shot....tho quite a soft n low shot....as 4 mine.....totally diff....i tapped the ball to the side n gave a hard shot....well....hard n high....haha.....aft soccer reli nth to do.....play games?....oso nth to play....well....spent 1hr on newspaper readin n den slp till bt 6 n start doin hwk....dun even noe how to do the a.math hwk sia.....n nv do e.math....zzz....i bwg.....duno how to "jiao cai"....haha....oh ya....n oso chi hwk nv do......well.....tis is how my life goes.....boredom-sation....n...juz received Yq's msg...to giv back smtiks....shd i?....reli veri vexed bcoz of tis pathetic tik....anyway....now we r frens....but if she eva treated mi as frens....many tiks wont b lik tis n tiks wont turn out tis way.....4gt abt tokin abt tiks tt makes mi sad.....haizz....bwg liaozz...
accumulation of messss ; *
10:47:00 PM
Saturday, January 22, 2005
zzz....now doin hwk......alot lorzz.....haizzz.....todae same old routine la.......nth much lei.....lata wana play Cs again.....haha?....haizz....juz to keep myself sth on....so wont tik of anyth else.....haha?... haizz.....hmmm.....i now got flu n cough.....n my mucus is....green or yellow color!....haha...color blind....zzz....i tik i got sinus!....zzz....haizz....i hate to hav tis pathetic prob.......but i eat all my med on time lei.....perhapz on fri i under the sun 4 too long so my sickness come back ba.....haizzz....n oso all my muscles achin lorzzz....tmr oso duno how sia.....haizzz....haizz....life goes on.....wad to do?....if i die....i will be hapier....no more worries.....no more givin other pp stresses....anyway who will mourn for mi if im dead or ard.....no1 cares.....who will?.....hahA?.....tts the fact of life.....the person i wan moz to care abt mi doesn even wan to care abt mi.....den wad?.....juz lidad lor.....haha?....tts the fact of life..........
accumulation of messss ; *
10:51:00 PM
Friday, January 21, 2005
waaa.....todae saw n tot abt my Dream gal...haha?....veri hapi sia....haha....perhapzz....juz perhapzz i had clear my tots orady....now feelin so much beta.....but juz now go play bball n soccer....smmr UNDER the hot sun!....so hot all ova my body....still haven slp yet!....zzz.....now Cs-in like crazy.... hmm....duno whether can make it in O's anot....haha?....lik veri slack horzz.... anyway juz now go Ys's hse there play lorz....hmmm....got 1 team wif alot of pp in the b-court.... zz....lik wan to shoo us off sia......anyway....they at there play soccer..nv reli disturb us....so we cary on bballin....aft tt......we play soccer wif dem....zzz....1st match i duno wad i doin sia......too tired?....mayb.....aft tt we play again......zzz.....tt kl wan.....but kl nv force mi to play on the 2nd match.....anyway i juz play....it was lik golden goal....haha....coz evbd too tired....so they asked to play 1 goal game....n i scored tt goal....haha?.....is it luck or wad?....duno......anyway.....i will wan to carry on wif my life....perhapzz tis route i chose will b the moz hardest n saddenin path i will go thru....y?...i wan my Dream gal to b hapi...
accumulation of messss ; *
7:17:00 PM
haizz....keep on countin n countin the daes aft the break.....haizz....reli tired of all tis craps lorzz...i reli dun lik to adapt to a new environment....where i'll b livin w/o Yq....haizzz.....the new environment is killin mi.......i duno how long i can stand tis......anyway......im tryin all ways to go back to my "natural" environment......i duno how long i can take it anyway.....its too stressful to mi....haizzz....no matter wad.....i will try all means to get back to the environment tt i had lived on......or mayb perhaps waitin 4 an environment which open doors 4 mi to walk in easily....i duno.....im tikin thoroughly....tho no hopes had been shown 4 mi to go back to the environment....but i will perhaps try n i mean try to make an effort to go back.....y try?....coz im toooooooooooo tired.....mentally esp....
accumulation of messss ; *
2:08:00 AM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
zzz....todae alot alot of tiks happ to mi....1st at bus stop wen goin to sch....sth happ to mi.... duwan to disclose to pp whom i feel tt will leak out the incident....therefore if wan to noe.....ask mi.... anyway....n.....todae....in class.....reli frustrated wif tt "A"....zzzz.....c the face reli wana whack it liaozzz....ahh...dun care la.....isnt the biggest deal......anyway....i vented my frustration wif Yq's cal....veri guilty.....haizzz.....anyway....todae i seriously cant concentrate.....i duno wad im doin....n todae CCA....but im the 1st to go back hm....coz no CCA 4 mi....not in sch team 4 soccer...so... juz go back....lastly....got to noe sth which i had longed to noe......well.....duwan to disclose it again.... shd i sae "Finally" or shd i sae "omg...not the rite time..."....well....i duno....rite now....feelin veri frustrated...n wan to turn the time back....cant stand the situation now....the more i wan to giv up....the more i wan it back....haizz....duno.....i juz wan to get out of tis mess.....i cant face tis situation....reli i cant....wadeva the case....Yq will nv leave out of my mind......
accumulation of messss ; *
11:14:00 PM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
haizz.....can 4gt abt evtik in my mind rite now...my tagline now..."Banish all hopes, its the way to find back happiness"......haizz....perhaps all my tears r too dry to come out....haizz....feel veri hot....tik i gettin a fever....n totally no mood to study....well.....my tagline is too obvious of wad had happ.....No hope liaozz....perhapz i muz reli 4gt abt wad the past has held on mi....haizz.... wads done is done....perhaps so....i oso duno whether i can reli 4gt her totally anot.....got many advices....but my motivation to get on wif my life....so small.....zzz....reli no mood n veri exhausted n oso too sick to blog on......well....i haven had a gd slp 4 a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time...................
accumulation of messss ; *
9:35:00 PM
Monday, January 17, 2005
haizz....didn get to meet Yq todae....veri veri veri veri disappointed....wif her perhapzz....coz.... keep on breaking promises....perhaps i shd use the word "trust"......even as frenz....she STILL does tis....how can i stand such behaviour?....If pp still insist tt i shdn b sort of "jealous" of "A".... perhapz dey shd tik twice....Yq treats mi n her in total diff way....anyway.....todae play soccer.... sort of njoyin in the 1st part....can reli run n veri flexible....lolz....but aft awhile....my leg pain lik fook....to much friction....haizz....off-form liaozz....oh ya....even hit the damn post 3 time....zzz.....aft tt got afew netball gals wachin us play.... actually wana noe Hontat(duno how to spell his name...lolz..)....but Yj stole his limelight sia!!....lolz...he accidentally(perhaps purposely) hit 1 of the gals...den go there shake hand....created alot of sort of misunderstanding....anyway....we luffin our ass of at tt mmt...lolz... well....i haven meet Yq n settle tiks n ask 4 ... wif her....so....im waitin 4 a dae i can.....i suddenly can wait 4 that dae....hmmm....such motivation r hard to come by 4 mi tis daes.....haha?
accumulation of messss ; *
7:14:00 PM
Sunday, January 16, 2005
haizzz.....todae 11th dae liaozz.....still veri vexed......cant take it anyway......well....todae wen to Sundae soccer.....hmmm....scored a goal....they even called it "Goal of the Yr".....how true i duno.....but i did play well.....but in my mind.....i wasnt concentratin....i kept tikin abt Yq.....still....i duno y i still can play tt well.......haizz...so wad if i can play well.....quite meaningless to mi....1st....cant even play 4 sch.....next is my loV life.....its in TOTAL mess....im tryin to scrap every tik left in my relationship wif Yq....doesn seem too positive.....well....now still doin hwk....but so meaningless n no mood to do......haizzz........theres no confidence in myself if u wld sae......i suddenly found tt nth is meaningful to mi orady....not even soccer or frens or wad....suddenly felt tt those r not the tiks tt will truly make mi hapi n b the same again in mi.... perhaps juz temporary happiness......haizz....if 1 tik i can hav....i wld love to hav a time machine.... its sth i reli wan it to happ....to bring mi back to the past......
accumulation of messss ; *
3:10:00 PM
Saturday, January 15, 2005
haizzz.....actually gona bring Yq to c doc de....but.....nv....todae she go tak the duno wad scholarship tiky....zzz....so nv.....well.....go peeped her....saw her.....omoz let her saw mi.....haizzz.... anyway....go meet ace....well....look so diff frm his pic.....perhaps he wear specs tts y.....kinda shy.....hahaha.....but can reli tok well wif Hj....hmmm....anyway.....aft we play cs i quicky so find Yq....zzz....well.....bluffed mi tt she wasn at hm....well.....duwan sae anymr.....haizzz....well....im now reli reli veri kinda no mood....juz now no mood to eat even.....haizzz....anyway got eat.... found it so tasteless to mi......zzzz....haizzz....Mon will sort of settle tiks wif her.....duwan anyth shit to happ.....i reli no mood liaozz.......i wan a patch......its in mi 4 veri long tim.....if so.....i doubt tiks will work fine........sort of no confidence.......perhaps my veri 1st tim im feelin so depressed.... veri.........
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11:19:00 PM
zzz....juz come back....well....i tik now got quite alot of tiks to sae.....hmmm....todae go wach seed of chuckie....zzz....nth much lor......so lame.....NC-16....nv noe got so many tiks being shown....zzz....its lik evbd was shocked by tt....well....a show muz b seen b perverts....lolzz.... hmmm....go there quite early lorzz....hmmm....den walk walk....aft tt go in....muz check IC smmr....scared we not 16....lolz....hmmm....aft the show....mi , kl , fiz walk hm wif candy....well.... she wan.....so juz walk lor.....i oso not tired....hmmm....den at the temple there saw Yq's dad....i siam!....zzz....i scared sia....lolz....haizz....aft tt tak bus go hm.....alot of memories came back to mi.....haizzz...well.....feelin tired liaoz....haha....juz now wanted to go up to her hse to hav a peek!....well....reli long tim nv go her hse there liaoz lor....haizz....but nv.......hmmm....tmr got soccer........reli no interest lor.....coz i dun reli lik to play wif so many solos in the team....kinda bored.....n....tmr wan to bring Yq go c doc....duno she wan anot....anyway....aft soccer i will rush go there.....hope dun reject tt....coz i wan to hold my responsibility....well....not to 4gt....i wan to care abt her......i wan to care in ev way....juz tt she cant c tt.....i reli tot abt tis....i hav cared abt her in so many ways liaozz....omg....tik so many tiks liaozz...haizzz.....wad to do...............
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1:45:00 AM
Friday, January 14, 2005
juz come back frm NUH....zzz...so tired sia.........i slept liao.....but still veri tired....zzz.....the cost so exp sia.........now no $$$........NB....haizzz.......go alone lorzz.....zzzz......anyway...todae Fiz jio mi go c movie........got all the Chi pp.......hope Yq nv go.........well.....perhaps i wan to go.......n oso njoy myself lata.......haizzz....well....todae nv c Yq....abit disappointin....well....i reli wan to tell her alot alot of tiks....seems so hard lei....haizz....wad to do....now in tis state so hard to do so many tiks.....so sad sia....haizzz...well....nth much to sae liaozz.....hmmm.....i tik i will go c movie ba....anyway to destress myself....but....i still got hwk to do!!....lolz.....
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3:12:00 PM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
hmmm.....todae quite alot of highlights.....hmmm....1st of all...in MT class rite....well....nv study my spelling....zzz....4gt ma....haizzz....no1 to remind mi anymr.....haizz.....miz those daes......anyway.....todae i took a glange on her....hmm....while she lying ard.....tot she will b slpin or sth.....to my surprise....nv close her eyes....well.....sort of c her 4 quite awhile den concentrate in class.....haizzz.....oso duno she tikin of sth or daze ard or perhaps reli lookin at mi.....at tt mmt...reli wana noe wad she is tikin.....haizz.....i dun tik i can find the ans.....haizzz....anyway.... aft sch....go find her....well....sort of lik tis....hmmm....i dun feel any uncomfortness in her.....well... reli felt nice at tt pt.....aft that.....i wen to West Mall to bu food n socks....hmmm....didn noe tt Jane of our batch is wkin at there in Giordano.....at 1st didn reli recognise her....coz of her hairstyle perhaps.....well.....reli bcam beautiful....shd sae tt.....anyway.....aft tt go meet Renee...hmmm....changed her hairstyle......much better den tt time i saw her....haha....well....aft tt we wen to my bro's student care centre....zzz....coz made a prob.....took so long....stand until leg pain....haha.....den Renee came to my hse....well....teach her how to use blog....zzzz.....so many probs wif my internet...zzz....if not will b done veri quickly....haha....hmmm.....tmr nd to go c doc....hope sm1 will pei mi.....go NUH lorzz...lolz....
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11:12:00 PM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
haizzz......1wk liaozzz....i seriously cant leave her......i mized her too much.....even tho we still c in class lorzz....haizzz....i seriously wan to juz leave her alone!!!....i cant....juz cant....as i reli cant get ova it....n wads impt is tt i love her.....my life now is too simple to b true tt to myself tt im livin in such emptiness.....too empty to know wad the hell tis world is n wad im living 4.....i cant manage tis sudden impact on mi....so much so tt i love her.....i felt reli reli reli hopeless abt patchin wif her....i reli wan to tell her abt patchin....but the way she treats mi.....i reli reli dun hav tt courage to say.....i reli wanted to sae wad my heart feels n go on the flow in mi.....but i juz cant......she had totally discouraged mi frm doin it.....if there is juz another chance....i will nv let it leave mi.....nv... the taste of not havin her is too awful....too much.....seriously im reli scared of other pp likin her.....todae saw her keep on touchin her fone...i reli reli wori if she got a guy outsid....i seriously is veri worried if she got a guy likin her or worse....she likin a guy.....reli scared.....haizzz...........
accumulation of messss ; *
9:20:00 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
haizzz...im tryin my bez to let TIME change....aft Mrs Choo's speech...i felt veri depressed of my doin....i felt lik im her 1st bf....evtik oso control....im scared....scared to lose her.....i tik now....the only tik tt can makes tiks possible is only TIME....zzzz....perhaps evtik is fated...but....i suddenly felt tt all my fren's tokings makes so much sense....but i juz cant stop lovin Yq....haizzz....the feelin of such lost....haizzz....time is reli against mi......i nd time....time tt can change....change evtik 4 the better.....juz to b wif her....
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5:35:00 PM
Monday, January 10, 2005
haizz...5th dae liao lor.....haizz....juz now reli reli wana sae patch tis word....i reli felt tt i still got chance.....the feelin is so strong tt im feel im too confident of tis "war".....but.....i feel tt the onli tik is....Nv to make her angry again....felt an impossible tik to do....but if i nv try....i will nv noe....i wan her badly in my life....too bad until i seem so uninterested wif other gals......i need her baldy....too bad until i feel tt shes my heart...if she goes away....im as gd as dead......i juz need her lov....juz to keep my blood pumpin in my veins.....n i juz cant stop lovin her.....juz too lovable 4 mi to stop lovin her....its lik an "at all course" tik to patch wif her......haizz....i nd a chance....n a hope to change........................
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11:00:00 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005
haizz...tt 2pid Yq again....reli broke my heart lor....on sat she RELI RELI assured mi tt she will meet mi do hwk de lor.....but....she didnt!....she broke it!!...i juz cant accept such pathetic lameness!!....zzzz...i NOW NO MOOD LA....haizzz...ok...dun blog liaozz......................
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11:51:00 PM
todae is sundae....but.....haizz....todae got sundae soccer....but....haizz....i reli OFF-FORM....i cant concentrate....i keep tikin abt her....more den wad i last tim DO!....haizz....hmmm....shd i tell Yq?...shd i?....but im reli sad....n she told mi tt if im sad or wad...can owaz tell her....but i reli duno whether she nds to noe anot....haizz....anyway....i did reli reli bad in todae's sundae soccer... even discouraged mi....BUT...scored a goal....but SO???....no mood EVEN!....haizzzz....btw....those who read my blog...hope u all dun sae anyth...a pat behind my back will do?....haizz....dun wish to tell any1.....hmm....ytd go out wif MehMeh n Fiz n Sebas.... go back tt time....MehMeh tok abt Yq....waaa...suddenly no mood to jk...haizz...nvm....i dun mind....n....todae i will b meetin Yq...until now still haven msg mi.......reli reli veri wori whether i WILL meet her anot....im scared....scared tt she is still scared of mi or sth....haizzz....i nd help........haizz....
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2:25:00 PM
Saturday, January 08, 2005
zzz....juz come back....actually todae not my shoppin dae....but seems lik my shoppin dae...bot jeans n wallet....zzz....reluctant to change my wallet sia....but....my wallet so so so old....haizz....but veri meaningfull.....coz tt was the 1st tim Yq foloed mi go buy tt wallet....bit sad.....haizz....anyway....todae i saw 1 ChiKoPei!!....lolz....juz now tt 2pid sebas wan go KFC eat...at bugis there....so there packed...alot of pp.....zzz....so we waitin sia....so i tot got 1gp wana go liao...so i go stand there....got 2 gals la....20++....den horz...i oso nv c dem actually....den i look at dem whether dey wana go anot...den suddenly....i wana FAINT!....lolzz...got 1 gal wear until lik wad sia....can c the top!....zzz...n even the bra!....zzzz....i faint sia...i bwg.....den i walk to Wq....ask her go stand there 4 mi.....but anyway we found another place to sit....den horzz...mi n Fiz observed smtik....moz guy walk past will c the gal....lolz...den got 1 uncle damn funi!....walk left n right for 4tim sia!!...lolzz..anyway....tt Sebas damn funi!....coz he bot a meal....pathetically so small sia the burger....lolz...haizz....reli lik my jeans...n wallet...but i prefer the old....haizz...i oso wan to buy necklace sia....RELI wana buy....but....i am still waitin 4 Yq to buy my present n i wan my present to b tt....but now....i duno whether can anot liaoz....veri angry at the same tim sad....angry bcoz...i felt lik kana bluffed as she sae will go out wif mi n buy sth 4 mi....wen she tak her salary....veri angry....sad coz.....i rem the old memories again.....haizzz...
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8:52:00 PM
haizz....juz wake up....wake up den saw her msg....sad lor.....i msg her 3tim but msg 1 tim sae cant meet....reli angry n sad lor.....wad to do.....we r onli.....haizzz........sad lor......i reli wan to make my feelin known....but seems so hard to b......i nd comments....plz tell mi....thx....perhaps....wo hai fang bu xia ba....haizz.........feel lik cryin....but....cant.....HAIZZ........................
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10:56:00 AM
juz tok finish wif Rene.....hmm....didn noe so many tiks happ to her....well.......i sort of made up her decision.....quite hapi 4 her....haizz....wad abt mi tho?....dun even noe whether theres a chance anot....msg Yq 3 times yet no reply.....reli sad.....haizzz...anyway....wen i tok to her....i reli tot of sth....abt my past....got 1 period where i had to choose "J"...which is goin 4 a new gal or Yq....i chose Yq....i found out tt until now....my heart feels tt i stay stong in tt decision....haizz... but now....tis kind of tiks happ....reli reli veri sad....was i takin tiks 4 granted?...but im sure was 2pid....haizz...seriously....aft tokin to Rene....reli felt quite better....anyway....evtik seems fated... haizz.....Am i fated to b wif Yq??...is there another chance?....i reli duwan a last chance...coz im scared of the word "last".....
accumulation of messss ; *
1:47:00 AM
Friday, January 07, 2005
im bored....i hav nv been so bored 4 a long time.....since sec1....i hav nv....i still cant tik a way or sth to make myself change 4 the better....until now i still feel amwad angry bcoz of the tiks she do....not to 4gt tt im sad too....i wan to change...but i duno wad seems to be the roadblock 4 this path....perhaps time is the factor........haizzz........
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11:27:00 PM
haizz...im reli sad la....todae in class i still can cope...but wen i started my soccer trainin....i reli cant liaozz...1st of all....i juz noe tt i cant join the soccer team....reli wish to tell Yq...but....i smwad felt duwan....tho she said to mi tt if im sad...can tell her....haizz....in eng lesson....i reli scared sia....coz Prema teachin us 4 todae...coz Choo didn come...anyway...on the dae wen i n Yq break...she saw us holdin hands....haizzz....MAYB our last time....i reli duwan tt to happ....anyway...i did my job in her lesson....well.....todae Yq insid parade...i sort of sad....coz durin my trainin....even now....i tot of the times in Sec3 wen im wif her....i reli felt hapi at tt time....where i can send her hm....w8 4 her outsid sch...all tt memories suddenly came to mi...tho reli borin....at least i cld c her....i still even rem tt she gav mi her uniform 4 mi to iron on the sec4 muster parade...at tt tim...she didn had frens...n i pei her...perhaps tt was the happiest tim of my life...but she wasn hapi tho...therefore...wen i owaz c her sad...it reli saddens mi.....but...now i c her so hapi...shd i b hapi??im tryin...but doesn seems to b tt way...the more i make myself hapi...the more im SAD!!!...the more i fool ard in class...the WORSE i feel...so smtims i will suddenly kept quiet n lie dw on the table...haizz....its onli 2 daes frm 1yr!...n i feel so bad....
i reli feel awkward cin her...i still fang bu xia...coz i still hav the feelin of she did spent more time on mi...reli felt tt...since N lvls...she hardly wen out wif mi....its less den 5 times anyway...i reli felt miserable...i suddenly felt so 2pid...i suddenly felt lik im a fool...i suddenly felt...tt my life suddenly bcam soooo BLAND...more bland and tasteless den water...i suddenly felt tt i lost my entertainment....lost my happiness....so meaningless to b in this world......
accumulation of messss ; *
5:04:00 PM
Thursday, January 06, 2005
haizz....b4 i slp i blog again....reli sad sia.....actually juz play game finish.....immediately aft playin game all my hapi momments wif Yq come all of the sudden...n oso tt dae....where we broke.... haizz....im too sad....coz....wo hai fang bu xia.....i wan to fang de xia...but seems tt hard.....i wan to rebuild my confidence...juz lik wad liana said...i wan....i wan to c myself hapi too...can i??.... haizz......shd i cry even?...haizz...its gd tt until now i still haven cried....does she hav eyes on me again??hope she has eyes on me....well....suddenly felt tt tis song reli describes mi rite now on how i feel....
accumulation of messss ; *
11:44:00 PM
zzz....my veri 1st tim i come back since im wif her....im still sad...well...todae i reli concentrate on studyin....at least i took a step liaozz....but....i still cant find my real self....i nd frens...i nd dem to help mi b my real self....i wan to find my real self...n oso to improve on myself....esp my attitude....i reli hope time flys fast...but the faster it is...the more sad i am....haizz....todae in class...i reli hold myself...i reli did...i owaz tell myself tt it is all fated...i cant blame myself liaozz.... todae....i wen out wif my frens...to lot1....but i saw her...n her frenz...dun hav bois...shd i be relief? or i shdn care coz we r done liaozz...im confused...coz i reli wan to find back myself liaozz...i reli nd back myself....anyway...im still reli reli fang bu xia...coz i still lov her...but...if i lov her shd i b hapi coz she is hapi now?...seriously...i cant b hapi wen i c her hapi....haizz...i muz stay hapi to find myself....tts wad i noe....but...can i???? haizz...smtim i reli got no motivation to keep my promise....im scared...reli scared to lose her bcoz of tis....I AM~
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4:02:00 PM
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
haizz....i broke wif Yq liaozz...im reli reli upset....i seriously dun hav da evil in mi liaozz...wo zhong yu fang de xia le....but still sad....Anyway...i prom her 3 tiks....1st...dun cry liaoz....well....i duno tis....2nd..muz study real hard....hmm..i WILL...lastly...i muz change 4 the better....esp mi attitude towards her....well....i reli blame my attitude tt broke us up...i muz change...not 4 her...but 4 myself...i will learn to b independent...i will...n will 4 the sake of MYSELF...n try not bcoz of her....i will learn to cherish tiks...esp her....i will....i swear i will....1yr lata...i muz w8 4 1yr...n there will b hope in us(provided if she still does not lik any bois...im PRAYING)....tts veri long...but i will feel worth ALL the efforts...coz.....i need her....i need her lovE....n i will owaz put my soul in her....she will owaz b my inspriation.......i will nv lov other gals again....1 tik 4 sure...i lov YuaN QiN 4eva....n eva....n nth beats it...
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11:01:00 PM
........im too saddened to reli blog now....as im bloggin....im reli fill wif sadness...n alittle of anger... perhapz cryin......i had another quarrel wif Yq....tis tim....much much worse den i expected.... well....shes scared of mi!....well...i will juz sae lik tis....im sad....i hav made up my mind....i will juz prefer to stay tiks out...n....juz get my O lvl done....for the sake of my parents....tts all....i dun find any meanin to carry on in the later yrs....if w/o Yq....i nd frens now....perhaps if u guys cant stand my face...i tik juz a pat on my back will do fine.... :) n i will feel much better....
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12:30:00 AM
Monday, January 03, 2005
haizz....i still feel im still not back to myself.....im still quite crazy....anyway....tmr gona sch reopen n i dun reli seem to b in da mood to b in sch....i duno wad im tik n duno whether to stay on or not....haizz...todae got another dispute wif Yq....i reli dun lik it....seriously i was angry wif her...but....i told myself not to...yet wen i c her face...which was lik so uniterested in seein me come...i totally wen crazy....again.....but not as bad as ytd....perhaps i nd a break?...i duno....i cant b in da mood to study rite now....rite now...im fearin tiks lik Yq doin stuff tt makes me angry ova tt "A"....wad shd i do?...anyway she dun seem to get wad i owaz tell her....haizz....giv mi a break...
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1:32:00 AM
Sunday, January 02, 2005
evbd has its evil in dem....i hav too...but i duwan it to b shown again......i seriously did not noe wad i was doin......it juz came to mi........im crazy.......an inch more to break up btw mi n Yq reli wen mi crazy.....real crazy....i seriously didn even noe wad i was doin.....i even wanted to get out of tis world 4eva....crazy....reli crazy tt i cant believe i had tis tikin......haizz.....todae Yq goin out wif her wkin frenz....i reli duwan tt....i duwan.....i juz get back my own Hp no. n there is so many boy's no. alry sendin here....im argry.....but i duwan my evil to come back...i dun wish to scare her any longer.............
accumulation of messss ; *
1:26:00 AM
Saturday, January 01, 2005
zzz....juz REACH hm.....zzz......i nv go celerbrate new yr nor go out wif Yq....haizz......well.....todae got a tite schedule....lolzz...aft i wake up....tts abt 12++...i quickly go J.P go get Yq's gift 4 her manager...zzz......haizz....wad to do....she cant make it....so i go do her errand lor....zi yuan de....abt 1++ reach Jurong where she at there wkin....well.....sort of a quarrel wif her at there.... haizz.......anyway....nth much....reach hm n playin game....den tt Kl sae wana go find Ken dey all...zzz.....owaz lidad....nvm....juz go.....well....all my wkin frens there....zzz....go there got 1 person giv black face liao...zzz....NVM....juz go njoy...anyway....1st tim go K box....i nv knew it was lik TIS!!!...zzz....my mind was SO filled wif tiks abt Yq goin K box at xmas dae....reli reli angry....well....lata abt 6++ i rush go meet Sebas at Heeren liaozz....zzz.....he so long....zzz...NVM again.....had a real deep tot durin da waitin tim....well....aft walkin walkin i pulled Sebas's trigger....tt is to mention Sj....zzz....frm there we talked abt he n Sj....well....i reli didn noe tt Sj was tis kind of person....haizz....i shdn matchmade he n Sj 3 tim lidad....i reli regret...haizz...anyway....aft buyin MehMeh bdae present....mi n Sebas go MehMeh hse there....zzz....by da tim...no bus go bac liaozz...well well....NVM again again...lolz...anyway i AM reli reli angry n reli in a deep tot abt mi n Yq.....so i juz wan to pei dem n make myself hapi.... Seriously....wad Sebas told mi rite....reli reflects on wad i WILL do if mi n Yq's relationship turns sour!!!...I WILL....aft tt....MehMeh's sis come oso...along wif her fren....well....seriously there was a gap....coz i dun reli noe dem....anyway...i listened to MehMeh's sis's story....n...i made alot of discovery...haha...wen im in sch...i tot i had met many pp who r hyprocrite n owaz tells lies n wad not....wen im wkin....i tot i had met pp wif many pp who hav their BGR really in a sour state... but todae....i get to noe another tik....Homos....zzz.....well.....i nv knew tt there is so many tiks into it...lolzz....well well....cant sae many tiks...but i got to noe MANY tiks abt tis topic....lolzz....i gained another knowledge....Seriously....i reli reli dislike Yq goin out wif pp who r not reli safe...zzz....im scared if anyth happs to her....but she juz go.....zzz...im ANGRY....well...whos fault shd i blame?...da person who ask her to do tis job or her decision on doin tis job?...or even i shd blame her bcoz of treatin her frens gd....lik "A"....to cut it short....NEITHER do i wan to lose her...im scared she will lik another guy...or perhaps a gal(?)...NOR i wan sth happ on HER!!...lik R*** or wad...zzz.....it seems far frm da topic...but i will sae "Low Crime Doesn Mean NO Crime!!"....lolzz....
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6:38:00 AM
